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~deadgirlonastick

Amy
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About Me Member General Addict deadgirlonastick25/Female/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 6 Years
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Homicidal Maniac

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Let it all GoAs I sit here, all alone, with just these fucked up thoughts that wont stop,  I can’t help but wonder am I really doing the right thing?  Is this what life is supposed to be?  Does growing older mean growing colder?  How much longer can I hold back this urge to just let it all go?   
Let it all go  Let it all go  Let it all go   
You know how much you mean to me.  Do you ever question that?  If you do, then that makes me want to hate you.  Do you sit and think about me like I do you, constantly?  Are you ok? Or are you just telling me that to make me not worry?    Let it all Go
by ~deadgirlonastick
What Has Become of Me...Floating in the darkness, feeling nothing  on purpose  I do this to myself, to make it all go away  I like it numb.   
I have failed.  I have fallen into this darkness that I do not think I can ever recover from.  I has my heart, my soul, my body and mind.  I cannot live without it.   
This addiction has completely consumed me.  I am no longer myself.  I have turned into a horrible person, that even I hate.  No wonder I try to kill myself with each shot.   
Will this be the one that does it?  Nope.  Load up a bigger one and make a wish.  That didnt do it What Has Become of Me...
by ~deadgirlonastick
I'll never be...I already know by the look in your eyes, I’ll do for the time being, but I’ll never be.  I can tell by the way you hold me at arms length, I’ll never be.   
I cry myself to sleep sometimes, thinking about what could happen, and how good I could be for you, but I won’t get that chance. I’ll never be.   
You don’t see me like you said you once did. I don’t feel as if we have that connection anymore.   
Something happened. Life is what most people call it. I guess we grew apart. Even though WE were never really together.   
For a while, I believed you. I believed it when you said you loved me. I belie I'll never be...
by ~deadgirlonastick
Dangerous
by ~deadgirlonastick
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Long freakin time w/no updates

Wed Sep 22, 2004, 4:57 PM
well thats because theres not much of anything, yet at the same time, something that consumes me completely goin on right now.

Literrally have not been doing anything on the weekends or my days off...sitting at home....being consumed.

I have a job now that i really really like. Pays well, good people, hours are awesome. In *that* aspect. I am happy.

I keep forgetting important things, like sending people stuff i owe them. Sorry girl..ill get it in the mail i promise.

I feel like im neglecting my friends, yet they really dont seem to be reaching out to me, calling me or asking me to hang out or go places, so really am i neglecting them or just slowly slipping away....like i tend to do sometimes? I guess its one of those things you just dont know the answer too, sadly, i really dont care.

I have ZERO creative energies right now. Hell, there is nothing exciting, dramatic, catastrophic or otherwise chaotic for me to dwell on at the moment. Everything is good. And we all know i cant write for shit unless im miserable or have something goin on in my crazy head.

Damn its been over 4 months since i have put anything on here.

I have a live journal.....
[link]
email me at deadgirlonastick@hotmail.com if you want me to add you to my friends list, as the journal is friends only..i update that one often.

ok. im all done.

love to you all, and hate to the rest of em.

burning out, or fading away...amy
7 Comments | Previous Journal Entries

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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Irving, TX
  • Interests: writing, reading, movies, music,
  • Favourite movie: blow, super troopers, valley of the dolls, happiness, vulgar, party monster, pulp fiction, 4 rooms
  • Favourite band or musician: tooooo many to list
  • Favourite genre of music: dark n dirty dnb & sexy house
  • Favourite artist: van gogh
  • Operating System: win xp
  • MP3 player of choice: winamp
  • Favourite game: head games
  • Favourite cartoon character: brak
  • Personal Quote: Last time i checked, i didnt really have a choice about dying.
  • Tools of the Trade: word.exe, paper, pens, markers, skin, whatever i can get my hands on at the moment

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Comments


~doneelady:icondoneelady: Nov 11, 2004, 7:33:02 AM
you wrote

"i have that ring, and nothing more.

everytime i get close, i fuck it up.

im a sad sad case.


ill marry ya muchkin, we can wear overalls and serve koolaid and moon pies

jk"


ive decided that yes we can wear overalls and celebrate by drinking boons farm!! ... or we can skip the wedding and go straight for the boons!!!

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Is it that I want to live, or that i'm afraid to die? Is it that i'm dead inside, or afraid to try? Am I worth the space... am i worth your time?
~putrefy:iconputrefy: Jun 3, 2004, 12:47:09 AM
you leave me in aw

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The Burden of Decay @ Putrefy.NET
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~deadgirlonastick:icondeadgirlonastick: Jun 3, 2004, 10:32:17 AM
why thank you. You arent so bad yourself. Ive been diggin through your work :)

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Pick apart girl, doll of my dreams, never apart, except at the seams.
Never abused, except as she chooses, pristine neck, with fingerprint bruises
~elodontra:iconelodontra: May 18, 2004, 8:50:34 PM
save me from myself, save me from this fate, make everything good, make it go away

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Blame not the clock for not having enough time, but rather the hand that winds it.
~doneelady:icondoneelady: May 2, 2004, 11:28:16 PM
:strip: ... thought id show you some skin ;p

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Is it that I want to live, or that i'm afraid to die? Is it that i'm dead inside, or afraid to try? Am I worth the space... am i worth your time?
~doneelady:icondoneelady: Mar 19, 2004, 8:23:17 PM
:buggered: = i feel like life keeps doing this to us both.... we need to go out

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Is it that I want to live, or that i'm afraid to die? Is it that i'm dead inside, or afraid to try? Am I worth the space... am i worth your time?
~deadgirlonastick:icondeadgirlonastick: Apr 26, 2004, 11:42:42 AM
haha yes we do dear. you need to get ahold of me one of these days when your not busy. seriously.

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Pick apart girl, doll of my dreams, never apart, except at the seams.
Never abused, except as she chooses, pristine neck, with fingerprint bruises
~doneelady:icondoneelady: Apr 26, 2004, 4:04:05 PM
ME? NOT BUSY? ARE YOU CRAZY??? LOL

--
Is it that I want to live, or that i'm afraid to die? Is it that i'm dead inside, or afraid to try? Am I worth the space... am i worth your time?
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